It isn’t easy for men to talk about their relationships with their moms. This is probably because we all have very different relationships with the woman who gave us life.
Some of us have always been taunted by the nickname “mama’s boy,” whereas some of us only see Mom once or twice a year and that’s more than enough. Some of us take care of Mom, and some of us are still taken care of by Mom. Some of us don’t even know our mothers- whether by choice or not.
Where do you fall?Never mind talking about Mom, some of us have trouble talking to Mom.
It’s these guys that I want to reach out to.
Have you talked to your Mom today?I have noticed that many men have some kind of “hang up” when it comes to their mothers. I mean, I know for myself, sometimes I have trouble understanding my mom and being interested in what she has to say. When she starts talking about old Mr. Jones and his latest hip replacement, I start to tune that stuff out. It sounds harsh, but I couldn’t care less. Then there’s Mom’s little voice on the voicemail. Just “checking in.” Maybe she has a little favor to ask of you. And did you get that promotion yet? Have you told your wife to stop feeding your kids trans-fats yet? After all, she heard all about how bad they are on The Early Show.
Is Mom meddling in our lives? Or is she just being Mom by nature?Guilt compounds with every message she leaves. You avoid her. Then you finally get around to calling her back. Maybe.
Sound familiar?A lot of guys feel anger, disgust, even rage toward their moms. Most of the time, they don’t even know why. Maybe it’s some leftover anger from issues growing up, or just being tired of her nagging, but we’ve all seen that guy who is pulling his hair out over Mom.Then there’s the other end of the spectrum.
You all know my producer, Big Lou. Well, Lou lost his mom when he was just nine years old. A couple of weeks ago on the show he offered us some insight that reminded us that it might be worthwhile to let go of the hang-ups we have with Mom, let go of the negative, and appreciate her for just being who she is: your one and only mom.When one of our callers expressed frustration with being financially indebted to his mother, Lou reminded him to stop blaming her for his guilt, and start being more appreciative of the fact that he has someone to help him out. Any other issues that get deposited into your head the second you deposit that check into your bank account, are your issues. And if you can’t deal with those kinds of dividends, don’t take it out on her- just don’t cash that check.
Whatever your relationship is with your mom, chances are, a little dialogue might help.If you feel it’s appropriate, tell her you appreciate everything she has done for you. Make it clear that even though you don’t always show it, and maybe you don’t always agree with her or feel like talking to her, inside your heart, you love her. And, if you are one of the guys fortunate enough to already have an open and comfortable relationship with your mom, all the more reason to give her a call to let her know how thankful you are for that.Not only will this make her feel good, but it will be freeing for you too.
Life is short. If mom was gone tomorrow, what would you wish you had said to her today? So have you talked to your mom today?
Maybe it’s time to pick up the phone.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Thursday, February 8, 2007
Men and Wisdom.
As men, we are accountable to each other for one very important reason- wisdom.
Wisdom is best defined as “the sum of learning through the ages.”It’s essential for us as men to be able to learn from each other’s experiences. I like to think of it as starting at the end of a problem, and working through it via someone else’s experience. That is how you heal from emotional scars, and most importantly, prevent bad things from happening in your life: outbursts of anger, rage, frustration, discouragement, and tension in your relationships.
This world puts a lot of pressure on us men. We start to feel trapped and misunderstood by everyone. We get frustrated by our wives/girlfriends and anyone else who has expectations of us. We feel uncertain about our future, career, money… it makes us angry.
You need to stop making excuses for your life. You need to get this crap off your chest, whatever it is. Otherwise, it’s going to lease space in your head and own you. It will absorb all of your strength. You can’t blame anyone else for this but yourself.
As men, we have a responsibility to each other to offer insight, experiences, and life lessons. If you sense another guy might have something eating him up inside, why not offer a listening ear? And if you are that guy dealing with rage, why not look to other men for help? Someone you look up to. A family member. A friend. A father figure. You just might be surprised at the support you’ll get.
Wisdom is best defined as “the sum of learning through the ages.”It’s essential for us as men to be able to learn from each other’s experiences. I like to think of it as starting at the end of a problem, and working through it via someone else’s experience. That is how you heal from emotional scars, and most importantly, prevent bad things from happening in your life: outbursts of anger, rage, frustration, discouragement, and tension in your relationships.
This world puts a lot of pressure on us men. We start to feel trapped and misunderstood by everyone. We get frustrated by our wives/girlfriends and anyone else who has expectations of us. We feel uncertain about our future, career, money… it makes us angry.
You need to stop making excuses for your life. You need to get this crap off your chest, whatever it is. Otherwise, it’s going to lease space in your head and own you. It will absorb all of your strength. You can’t blame anyone else for this but yourself.
As men, we have a responsibility to each other to offer insight, experiences, and life lessons. If you sense another guy might have something eating him up inside, why not offer a listening ear? And if you are that guy dealing with rage, why not look to other men for help? Someone you look up to. A family member. A friend. A father figure. You just might be surprised at the support you’ll get.
Thursday, February 1, 2007
You Reap What You Sow
In the field of life, it is important for us as men to understand that we reap what we sow. In other words, we are only going to get out of life as much as we put into it. We must plant the seeds of personal fulfillment so that in turn, happiness and satisfaction will take root in our lives.
So many talented men just walk through the motions in life but their field remains barren because they don’t take the time to plant some quality seeds. They purchase the property and even put up a fence, but then just wait in vain expecting something to magically happen, only to end up frustrated with their fruitless efforts.
What are they doing wrong?
They’re not investing. They’re not planting those seeds.
As we have discussed on Rage Radio and in previous blog entries, the first step in a man’s road to personal peace and fulfillment is finding out who he is and what he wants in life. In other words, he has to look at the field of his life and create a vision of what he would like to produce.
Here on Rage Radio, we say it all the time: a man needs a vision, he needs a plan. There is no big secret to being a successful man, whatever that might mean to you. You just need to be honest with yourself and talk. Without this, you are bound to end up with nothing but dead plants – anger and frustration.
Once a man sees the field, he needs to ask himself “How am I going to achieve this vision?” How do we foster the things we want in life? Fulfilling relationships? A happy family life? Financial prosperity? Physical health?
Guys, these things don’t just miraculously appear. Take a good look at your life. What you delivered in the past is what you are reaping today. Is your life filled with turmoil and confusion? Does your job not pay you what you’re worth? Are you experiencing crises with your health, finances, and/or relationships?
These things take work. It’s a simple concept: You reap what you sow.
This has been the secret of my own success. We can infer some basic principles from this:
1. What we reap is in proportion to what we sow:In other words, nothing ventured, nothing gained. You will never reap more than you sow.
2. You will reap in the manner that you sow:Some people call it karma, but the manner in which you sow is very important. If you sow with the intention to steal, someone is going to steal from you. If you wish to deliver under a spirit of deceit, lies, larceny… you will reap that very same manner. What comes around, goes around.
3. You reap precisely WHAT you sow:If you sow money, you will reap money. But in my experience, the more time, talent, heart, and skill you invest, the more satisfying your return will be.
So why don’t more men sow today?
1. We never tried before. We don’t know that we’re supposed to. We feel powerless.
2. We don’t understand or believe the concept of setting the stage for the future.
3. We don’t feel that we have anything to offer.Guys, it’s time to man up! Put yourself out there. Visualize what you want to produce, then plant the seeds. Just try it, and watch what happens. In due time, these seeds of your vision, inner dialogue, and self-examination will sprout a lush field bearing the fruits of your efforts- that is, a peaceful, fulfilling, and successful life.Need some help with this? That’s why we’re here.
So many talented men just walk through the motions in life but their field remains barren because they don’t take the time to plant some quality seeds. They purchase the property and even put up a fence, but then just wait in vain expecting something to magically happen, only to end up frustrated with their fruitless efforts.
What are they doing wrong?
They’re not investing. They’re not planting those seeds.
As we have discussed on Rage Radio and in previous blog entries, the first step in a man’s road to personal peace and fulfillment is finding out who he is and what he wants in life. In other words, he has to look at the field of his life and create a vision of what he would like to produce.
Here on Rage Radio, we say it all the time: a man needs a vision, he needs a plan. There is no big secret to being a successful man, whatever that might mean to you. You just need to be honest with yourself and talk. Without this, you are bound to end up with nothing but dead plants – anger and frustration.
Once a man sees the field, he needs to ask himself “How am I going to achieve this vision?” How do we foster the things we want in life? Fulfilling relationships? A happy family life? Financial prosperity? Physical health?
Guys, these things don’t just miraculously appear. Take a good look at your life. What you delivered in the past is what you are reaping today. Is your life filled with turmoil and confusion? Does your job not pay you what you’re worth? Are you experiencing crises with your health, finances, and/or relationships?
These things take work. It’s a simple concept: You reap what you sow.
This has been the secret of my own success. We can infer some basic principles from this:
1. What we reap is in proportion to what we sow:In other words, nothing ventured, nothing gained. You will never reap more than you sow.
2. You will reap in the manner that you sow:Some people call it karma, but the manner in which you sow is very important. If you sow with the intention to steal, someone is going to steal from you. If you wish to deliver under a spirit of deceit, lies, larceny… you will reap that very same manner. What comes around, goes around.
3. You reap precisely WHAT you sow:If you sow money, you will reap money. But in my experience, the more time, talent, heart, and skill you invest, the more satisfying your return will be.
So why don’t more men sow today?
1. We never tried before. We don’t know that we’re supposed to. We feel powerless.
2. We don’t understand or believe the concept of setting the stage for the future.
3. We don’t feel that we have anything to offer.Guys, it’s time to man up! Put yourself out there. Visualize what you want to produce, then plant the seeds. Just try it, and watch what happens. In due time, these seeds of your vision, inner dialogue, and self-examination will sprout a lush field bearing the fruits of your efforts- that is, a peaceful, fulfilling, and successful life.Need some help with this? That’s why we’re here.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)